This post was inspired by Treana Allen and her lovely wife Lorelei Estrada who posted this video and got me thinking about my blessings.
This post was inspired by Treana Allen and her lovely wife Lorelei Estrada who posted this video and got me thinking about my blessings.
Click here to see the complete report.
Reading the above assessment of my 2015 blog traffic report felt like winning “Most Improved” at your high school varsity golf team banquet… pitiful (and I should know I won that very award and they lost my trophy in the mail).
For some reason I thought I would be able to change the world with my words nearly over night with my blog and YouTube vlog…but alas the year came and went unwavering in its opposition to my success.
The beginning of my 30th year was prefaced by:
-Extreme fatigue and the totaling of a parked truck and my already failing automobile.
-An invisible video blog that everyone said was inspiring but never watched (I know because Google Analytics never lies).
-Being sued for joint custody of my then 3 year old daughter by her biological donor because I finally broke down and filed for child support.
-Living with someone who criticizes my every move and insults my character on a deeply personal level consistently, but who happens to be fighting cancer so I can’t say shit.
-Still being broke…as fuck as the whole the world erupts in chaos and i just want run away and live in a cabin in the woods…
You know the normal stuff people deal with while ushering in their 3rd decade of life.
I thought that, circumstances being what they are, I should have no problem coming up with content to write about…problem was too much content, not enough time and evil ass perfection paralysis.
I have over 180 “draft” posts sitting half finished waiting for me to fluff them up and press “publish”… but I hesitate…WTF is wrong with me?
I’m exhausted that’s what.
I’m just fucking tired.
I’m tired of working on average 52 hours a week and only bringing home $523 because I don’t earn a living wage.
I’m fucking fed up with having no time to myself and feeling like a shitty mom for wanting to take a shit in the bathroom alone.
All I want to do is garden, talk shit about politics and pop culture, quilt, cook, raise some animals, and be the type of mom that raises a kid who benefits man kind…Is that too much to ask?
Blog, why can’t you magically attract more readers?
I know I’m not the only radicalized hippie out here.
Where y’all at?
Damn, this turned into a journal entry quicker than it should have ….smh. Sheesh; but I suppose that’s OK as long as I keep writing. As long as I keep writing, I keep expressing myself and in doing so I create small ripples…ripples can become waves and waves have the power to erode mountains.
Don’t count me out just yet folks.
I’m still here.
XOXO,
When you realize that you are poor but you were born middle class and are busting your hump but are statistically on a downward trajectory, the revolution has begun.
When you understand that companies aren’t hiring for the type of long-term pension-based employment that all other post-depression generations enjoyed; and you realize your overpriced noose of a degree trained you not in entrepreneurship, but in how to work for a now dead system, the revolution has begun.
When you turn on the TV and think: “If this was in black and white I wouldn’t be able to tell what era I was in”, the revolution has begun.
In every Revolution the work is done by regular people. Women and Men who just get tired of waiting for someone else to act, someone else to say out loud that “this shit ain’t right”.
In every Revolution there were people who shirked the work of change in opposition to those who sacrificed everything, however they still benefited from the struggle in the long run…
Those nay-sayers will always be.
The weak of will and spirit always disavow straight spines and tall walkers in lieu of the comforts of conformity and cowardice.
When you look in the mirror do you see something bigger and better than the labels that have been ascribed to you?
When you hear or witness injustice do you boil over with a feeling of helplessness?
Have you ever felt like you know too much about history, too much about media manipulation, too much about the legislative and subtle oppression that holds this country hostage…so much so you have yearned for the ignorance you once had?
Are you afraid your kids won’t inherit a better, safer world?
You are a Revolutionary. Embrace your reflection.
You just need to speak up. Do your research, vet your sources, educate those around you, know your rights and if you question if you are on the right side of history ask yourself this: If I stay silent will I respect myself? When my children grown up will they be proud of my actions or distance themselves from my beliefs?
It isn’t hard once you realize it’s your destiny. You know what they say: “The revolution will not be televised”…that’s because it’s internal… The Revolution has only to be recognized in your own eyes to be realized.
Bi Lauren Croom Follow Me @lostbelothefold
Dear Kate Cronin-Furman, Mira Rapp-Hooper , and all the other woman trying to school me in feminism and guilt me into voting for Hillary,
I believe your assertion that for some “late-breaking sexism often means later-onset identification with the principles of second-wave feminism”, however that experience is EXACTLY why I’m CHOOSING to vote for Bernie Sanders as opposed to Hillary Clinton; and I’d like the think pieces on why I’m naive or somehow less of a feminist than you are to stop.
I am an HBCU Dean’s List grad. I am a Black Single Mother of a 4-year-old daughter. I am a proud member of the LGBT community, and I have been eking out an existence working 10-12 hours days for $12 an hour in one of the most discriminatory industries (Hollywood) in the world. You assume that because I won’t blindly vote for Hillary I must be naive to the discrimination of the business world or the social structure of this country in general; this position is not only disparaging, but sexist, and ageist all bundled up nicely in a tight fist that I’m tired of being assaulted with.
I’m proud the woman before me have paved a pathway for us, but didn’t they do so in order for me to have the freedom to vote about the issues and the candidates’ political and social anatomy not their physical anatomy? Making young educated women out to be people pleasing and inexperienced shows a level of callus that is scary and truly disheartening. The woman of the baby boomer age were once idealist…what happened to that belly burning fire that was emboldened by opposition and in search of true progressive change? Why settle for just any woman when there is more at stake here than ovaries in the oval office? We have a Supreme Court justice nom on the line, we have oil pipelines from Canada pending, we have a trade deal that could dismantle what little democratic power we have left over corporations, and we have a privatized prison system that threatens to sue if we don’t continue to fuel them with free labor. I and thousands of other women graduated from college as the economy fell apart; we faced even more abysmal job prospects than we would have had we been met solely with the sexism already expected in the workplace.
I am not some starry-eyed child who doesn’t know what’s good for me. I am the product of my history, culture, and environment. I am the niece of two Uncles jailed by Clinton’s 94’ Crime Bill. I am a bi-sexual woman who is puzzled that the same woman who supported her husband in signing DOMA, the HIV travel ban, as well as overseeing the doubling of LGBT discharges from the military in his tenure, can act as if that never happened or claim to have magically “evolved” dismissing my and countless other peoples pain. Hillary didn’t fully support same sex marriage until 2013…yes…2013! She flew in the face of change and only joined our ranks as the prevailing winds of pew polling blew. She’s never stood true as a weather vane for equal human rights for all…only the humans who benefit her public image.
Bottom line: I don’t trust her. I don’t trust Hillary to do right by me or any of the issues I care about. If I were a man the very women who bash me would respect my right as an American to vote for the person, male or female whom I’m most ideologically aligned with. However, I am not a man…and these women… my sisters claim “there is a special place in Hell” for me and that I only support Bernie because his camp is where all the boys are. The legacy I want to leave my daughter isn’t one of forced affiliation or entitlement; it’s one of progressive ethics so I’ll stand tall in my opposition. If Bernie wins on a platform of revolutionary change I can take comfort in the fact that regardless of which side they played ALL women will benefit both directly and indirectly from that.
I do hope that a woman will inhabit the white house one day soon, but that isn’t my ONLY hope… I pray that by the time my child is of college age she won’t have to tackle the issues I have had to. I hope she won’t have to decide between living a life and paying back student loans. Yes, sexism is very real but so is the need to reduce income inequality, corporate welfare, and the cost of health care. I have aspirations for myself and my daughter that are bigger than the shadow cast by Hillary and when I look into my child’s eyes and my own in the mirror, I know there are better female candidates out there, but we as women need to recognize them… let’s not squander our “1st woman” card on a layup.
Please.
Most Certainly a Feminist,
1/31/2016
It has been reported by a survivor that Boko Haram used three female suicide bombers to burn children alive inevitably killing 86 people in Dalori, Nigeria. Two nearby camps housing over 25,000 people who have fled Boko Haram were also attacked. This is my response to the puppets who think themselves powerful.
Bi: Lauren Croom