Just When You Gave Up On Me…


Nothing happens the way we plan it…However, when you’re on the right path, nothing can stop an object propelling through space…

Check out how week 1 went. Like & Subscribe.

Be on the look out for the weeks 2,3 and 4 bundles out soon!



It’s Official, I’m Dying and I’m Excited!


I’m embarking on a new journey.
The woman I see in the mirror today
will be dead by the end of it.
Join me and die to the past with every moment.
Take the #30Till30 Challenge.
I promise you won’t regret it.

Hey there you…
It’s me… Lauren Croom or ELLE SEA for short.

You may recognize me from such roles as
College degree carrying minimum wage worker,
or Actress without a stage

Well I’m here today to talk to you about the life or death decision
you are going to have to make in about oh… 5 mins.
Let’s hope you chose wisely.

Before we get into that I’m sure you’re wondering what it is exactly that you clicked on. You’re wondering what is this 30till30 thing? Either that or your cat is watching this…Which is also fine. .. (Hey kitty Grr)

Well 30 till 30 was born as a dear friend of mine was standing on the edge of a cliff and was literally going to die…not a real life Stallone “Cliff Hanger” kinda die,
but a valley girl who “literally can’t” manifested in a grown ass man kinda die…

It was his 30th birthday and when he came to me it was clear no amount of free booze, food or Target gift cards was going to lift his spirits.

He confided that he felt he hadn’t accomplished enough, hadn’t seen enough…pretty much he really hadn’t lived.

I was puzzled by this revelation because from the outside looking in, he really seemed to have it together.

He has a great job, awesome friends and family and seemed truly on the path to traditional Gay American success (e.g. a beautiful home, husband and a few sweet little adopted hybrid babies running round that joint) …

I comforted him the best I could but as he left, and proceeded to get stone cold wasted, it sunk in that I was right there with him.

I had set goals at 25 that to this day sit un-accomplished stored up in the cloud in a file labeled “to-do”. Back then, I saw the world so differently it seemed like I had so much time… too much time even. To the point where I would wish time away. I figured by 30 I’d be married and established on my career path… I’d really have it together…Mannnnnn I was tripping!

I wasted so many moments basing my decisions on what I thought to be practicality but what turned out to actually be fear and perfection paralysis.

I allowed the perceived perceptions of people I don’t even associate with anymore and the relationship I was in to dictate my actions or better yet my inaction.

I was a sadomasochist. I constantly beat myself up over not following my dreams but then would skirt around the steps towards making them happen.

Honestly, it took getting pregnant, the relationship and the stock market crashing, a cross-country move, having to live in my Grammie’s spare room, severe depression and basically hitting restart on adulthood (this time with a small child in tow) to realize that changing the path I was on was only as hard as I built it up to be.

If you don’t count the 9 month gestational period (which I don’t) I will officially turn 30 on December 3rd….

That means that exactly 30 days from today I’ll be 30 years old… Is it making sense now? Ok, now stay with me.

30till30 is my way of celebrating the last 30 days of my 29th year.

I plan to usher in the next 30 years by living in the “Now” and dying to the past every moment.

Over the course of 4 videos (one posted for every week of this month) I’ll be using YouTube, Google, my sense of humor, and good old-fashioned determination (aka sleep deprivation) to carry out the goals I set at 25 plus a few major additions
that I’ve tacked onto the list over the years.

I’ll do my best to document the whole thing and I want you to come with me for the ride.

Now about that life or death decision you have to make here it is.

Purely sitting back and watching me trek through these next 30 days is predicted to be highly entertaining…

Shiiiiit! For all it took to get here it should at least illicit a few chuckles however, just watching my life play out on YouTube is kinda voyeuristic…

Creepy even…

and I know you’re not a creep right?

Instead of just pretending to live vicariously through me,

I challenge you to take the 30Till30 challenge and actually live a life of your own making.

Regardless if you are watching this today or two years from now pull out that tired crumpled up list of new years resolutions…

You don’t have to be 29 to join me either. You can be 20 going on 21 or 99 going on 100. If you have dreams unlived and goals on the back burner bust those bad boys out and do this with me… alone I’m just a beautiful crazy woman with a camera, some dreams and a deadline

but together…we are journeymen.

It took the Israelites 40 years to cover ground that should have only taken 11 days…

They had to wander the wilderness together until they had grown in faith.

Until they could appreciate, the Promised Land for what it really was…
Most of them died before they ever caught a glimpse of it.

I challenge you to choose life over a death in stagnation manifest your faith in your goals and carry them out.

Reach the promised land of inner acceptance and defy death by shedding fear and excuses.

Document your journey and share with the rest of us… hash tag 30till30 …
Oh and feel free to comment below.

I promise to be like that Michael Jackson meme eating popcorn with my Geri curl on point…

I’m on all the social media’s babies so follow me.

Let’s jump these hurdles together. If we stumble and fall along the way we’re better for it as long as we get back up.

So are you in?

Are you ready to live?

Let’s do it…

I’ll see you in a week.